How do I help my family

helenschrama

Hi Guys

Hope you are all as well as you can be

My family is fantastic but feel constantly guilty that they are taking up the slack for me.  My 18 yr old tells me off for ironing if I'm having a good day and my 15 year old does cleaning that I can't  do

I'm constantly tired and struggle to walk

Any tips? xx  

MsMe

I am no expert but I can try! lol LET THEM. Your family my be feeling helpless and doing things for you is one way they may feel like they have a little control of your situation or that they can help because they may feel helpless.  When you feel up to doing your chores and they won't let you, tell them "I want to do this, it keeps my mind busy or my body in shape but somedays I will need help and I promise to let you know when I do". Don't feel guilty! I am sure you took care of them for years and on days that you felt up to it. It's not your fault you feel the way you do and they just want to return the favor of all you did to help them over the years. Always show appreciation and gratitude. When my sister was sick I would go to her house and clean all weekend and cook for her family. Personally, I was going through a lot, I was a recent widow in my 20's with my daughter and we had to leave everything behind to move back down to where my family lives.  Helping her gave me some control back to my out of control life and helped me feel helpful where I felt helpless in her struggles.  However, my sister seemed to take advantage of my help and never said thank you and nothing was ever good enough and for a while, I kind of resented her. The Wegeners Disease was excusable but her attitude wasn't. Now that I am older, I think she was just mad at the world for her situation, that she couldn't do the things for her family that I could. Basically, her guilt made her view things negatively. Don't let yours do the same thing, your family loves you and just wants to feel like there's something they can do.
Sorry you didn't get more responses and I hope you get this one. Today is my first day!

Happy Thoughts,
Sabrina

cyndyv

Let them help you. God, you have a great family. Most of my family won't lift a finger for me because I don't  "look sick". Even on the days when I can barely get out of bed. You need to hug and kiss each and everyone of them. You are truly lucky to have a family like that. So many of my lupus friends don't. God bless you and I hope you feel better.