Dear Body, Please Let Me Be Great

SunshineSunshine Member New Member
edited January 2020 in Support
I'm a bonafide, kick-butt force of nature. I don't accept defeat, end of story. Backstory: diagnosed in 2004, listened to said diagnosis in 2015 when my body rudely awakened me out of my denial. Of sound mind and ravaged body, I resigned from my high-paying, high-stress job with a mustard seed of faith and plenty of flair...pun intended. I later took an entry level job working from home — such a blessing— because my body was determined on having the last word. How do I cope with knowing that my desire for my dream job is but a dream? I'm really struggling because I know how I used to be but, I can't get back to that former place of "just let me be great". I cried this week when I saw a job ad for a position that seemed like it was the perfect mix of every one of my career highlights in my dream city. I feel like I have to kill the person on the inside because she's headstrong and a tad unreasonable about this whole thing. I feel like I'm losing my worth and sense of self. I'm in a weird Goldilocks-type of limbo; can't do more but, struggling to be still and do less. Any advice? 
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