Flare Up Fear of Lupus

My Name is Charnell im from SA age 33, I was diagnosed with SLE September 2018 after two years being told I was anemia. I got so ill I ended up in emergency and was admitted to high care in hospital. After days of needles, test and scans a lymph node was removed from my neck area (the most scary thing ive ever experienced, being awake during this procedure) being hospitalized for 3weeks going through all kinds mental,emotional and physical changes, not knowing anything about Lupus. The first time I heard this word was when the doctor informed. Immediately I starting reading up and educating myself on what I read,it was just reading until 6 months later when I had a flare up and back to high care in hospital, this time around was the worst , kidneys affected ,bad infection in my lungs. Now I knew what it felt like having no control over your own body. I had an emotional breakdown in hospital not being able to control my own body and what it was going through. Im an active person as I work in health and fitness this was life changing for me. Another 6 months later another flare and back to hospital I was, this time I had better understanding and knowing what all the medication will do to my body. I prepared myself mentally. I hate this disease daily as it has changed my lifestyle in a very short period tremendously and have affected my appearances, abilities and emotional well being, but daily i am grateful just to make it out of bed. Im 1 month in my 6 month cycle and I fear that after another 6 months I will flare again. Staying positive and controlling everything to the best of my ability, i still daily fear lupus. Im hoping to connect with fellow warriors on this community and stay positive by each and everyone share with there daily experiences.  
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